I popped out to buy some provisions just now and alighted upon Issue 16 of Cape Cornwall Compass, an informative and well-edited freebie for West Cornwall. In it, the following, quite wonderful transcript of a 1995 conversation between a US Navy ship and a British authority is reprinted:
British: Change your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you alter your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
British: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
British: Negative. You will have to alter your course.
Americans: This is the USS Lincoln. The second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. Three Cruisers, eight Destroyers and numerous support vessels accompany us. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees North. THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
British: This is the North Cave Lighthouse. NOW WILL YOU **** OFF!
The murky wave above - photographed at dusk during one of the recent monster storms and not working for anyone save the insane - may be a secret spot but, rather fortunately, it's not too far from one of the watch stations manned on a volunteer basis by Coast Watch, the publishers of Cape Cornwall Compass. Each year these people help the Coastguard and the RNLI haul hundreds of people who should know better out of the sea. Here's hoping the US Captain was just having an off day. Somehow I doubt very much that he knows his rights from his lefts...
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