The demented surrealist inspired by Surf Twisted has left the parish of St Levan. He was banished late last night by the Friends of Porthcurno, whose leader, Ms Carol Thatcher, had this to say of his antics: "That demented surrealist is a menace. He wants to build a skyscraper on the beach and is in league with the forces of the Death Star. Fortunately, we know how to deal with his kind. We have set up an exclusive club, to which he is not invited."
In his place, Alex 'Quad Tear Take Off' Wade is now writing this blog. He wishes to report that Spot G this lunchtime was bereft of any other surfer save for Sam Bleakley, who was leaving as he arrived, and Tup Newman, who was in the line-up. One other gent was out in surf that was far chunkier than it looked from the cliff. He didn't look too happy and, indeed, Tup feared at one stage that he was drowning. Thankfully this wasn't the case. Mr Wade says he paddled out and spent an hour or so at one of Cornwall's best breaks with absolutely no one else out save for his friend Mr Newman. A couple of sets were solidly overhead and a fine time was had by all two of them. As Mr Wade said: "That was very good. I love February."
Afterwards, Ms Thatcher refused to apologise, and had this to say: "It is my belief that Alex Wade suffered a further rupture of his quad tear on one or two take-offs today. It is my further belief that he suffered pain and that he would be a fool to play football later. However, he will probably try and play, because he is a fool. That's why he's not in our club. Goodbye."
Image courtesy of Ocean Image.
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