Bells Beach 10, Critics 3.5, Alex Wade 0

It's been another week in which I realise that there is no time for anything (please skip immediately to the 6th par where the asterisk appears). The older you get, the busier life is. On top of that, my surfing has been sh**e. It was never world class in the first place but it's taken a serious dive lately. I don't know why - maybe it's backache, maybe it's age, maybe it's a dominant lack of ability - but I've been having a rubbish time of it.

The decline actually began in Costa Rica, but with a few good waves there under my belt I thought it was a blip. It isn't. If I get a nice, 3-6ft + peeling wave, I can surf it reasonably well. But it has to have enough momentum to make me pop up instantly. If it's smaller, or slack, I'm kooking it like an all-time kook of the kooks. I even dropped in on Jill Pierre yesterday on Darren's 10"2' Cosmic Glide. Carnage was somehow averted, Darren's act of kindness in lending me his board (he took pity on me as I struggled on my 7"6' in tiny, slack Sennen) merging with Jill's overall good karma and meaning that, miraculously, no harm was done.

But this is not good (Jill, I'm sorry). I don't drop in on people, unless they're Harry or one of his mates. And I've had good sessions in the last year or so. Good, pumping, 6ft and over, surfing-quite-well-if-not-shredding sessions. What is going on?

Maybe - just maybe - this is because, post-Costa Rica, I've opted to shortboard on English waves where, just a couple of months ago, I was (usually) longboarding. Or riding a shortboard tailor-made by Jonty Henshall for West Penwith. In fact, the evidence, with my ex-lawyer's hat on, is incontrovertible.

I must revive the longboard and/or the Jonty board. I am kidding myself if I think I'll be having fun on anything short, slick and light because, as my sons take peculiar delight in pointing out, I am TOO OLD.

* (That is an asterisk) Thank the Lord for guest posts. What Mark Tyers has to say is actually interesting, as opposed to my ramblings. Read on, my friends, read on.

Even before the world’s top male competitive surfers arrived in the Bells Beach Surfing Reserve to compete in the 38^th running of the Rip Curl Pro, the discontent amongst the competitors with the long-running contest was more than merely audible.  It was at an all time high.

For starters, whilst Mick Fanning, Kelly Slater and many of the competitors opted to be diplomatic about the normally fat and non-hollow Bells waves, others were far less restrained.  Bobby Martinez simply blurted out; “Bell is a shitty wave” (Surfline) whilst one reporter (Stab mag’s consistently stellar Jed Smith) even went so far as to write an article enquiring “whether there is room on the dream tour in 2009 for a wave that actively thwarts the technical ability and creative flare of some our top athletes?”

Then Round One, which saw the reintroduction of the ASP sudden-death system, happened in less than decent conditions.  Josh Kerr landed the only air of the entire contest (a reverse), before being promptly knocked out by super-veteran Mick Campbell in a low scoring affair.  A struggling Dane Reynolds and 14 other competitors who had journeyed half-way across Australia (and in some cases the world) soon joined him by the wayside.  A thoroughly downtrodden and un-philisophical Tom Whittaker confided to Surfing “I just think it’s shitty for f—kin’ everything”, whilst contest director and two-time world Champ Damien Hardman pointed out that “You don’t see any of the top guys the first day. If you’re an event sponsor or the public, you want to see the top guys.”

And then the Southern Ocean refused to cooperate for 7 days straight, allowing the remaining 18 competitors ample time to wax lyrical about the British Isles like conditions, and the other trying aspects of the marathon like contest.  They pointed out that whilst the waves often looked easy to ride, the sometimes strong winds (recorded up to 48 mph offshore during round 2) and currents made maintaining position in the take-off zone hard and riding even harder.   And they painted a boot-camp esque picture of there schedule, pointing out how everyday they had to get up early (5.30am in Timmy Reyes case) in order to be ready for the possible resumption of the contest.  When asked about the challenges faced by the competitors, Ex-Santa Cruz CT’er turned surf coach Chris Gallagher mused rhetorically;“How do you stay psyched? How do you know when to start stretching, when to warm down, when to start preparing?”

And yet as the contest entered the eighth day of its waiting period, all these criticisms were suddenly rendered mute, drowned out by the roar of a 4-8 foot pulse of solid southern ocean energy and the accompanying drama and spectacle which the Bells constest has become famous for.

Rising star and wildcard Owen “Ozzie” Wright took down a 5’10” Merrick riding-Kelly Slater after dispatching Dane Reynolds in the first round.  Hawaiian powerhouse and Full-English-breakfast-lover Kekoa Bascaloa continued to be the standout amongst this year’s crop of tour rookies, eventually losing to Adam Robertson in the quarters.  And Jordy Smith and Mick Fanning maintained their fine form and competitive momentum of the last three months, consistently producing full-rail power carves, snaps and floaters of such exceptional power, timing, volume and raw-unashamed-beauty that the judges had no choice but to reward them with a showdown in the quarter-finals where the big South African triumphed by a whisker.

The final itself was a fitting climax to a contest whose uniquely long-list of winners (only the Pipeline Masters has been running longer) reads like a whose-who of competive surfing.  It featured a surfing Goliath, played by a near unstoppable Joel-“smooth-as-silk”-Parkinson, triumphing over a plucky David, in the form of the first Victorian local to ever make the final (trials winner Adam Robertson).  As Shane Dorian famously declared upon triumphing in 1999; “No kook has ever won Bells!”  And with the 38^th Bells contest done and dusted, rung by the current holder of The Vans Triple Crown contest and whose lead on top of the WCT ratings is threatening to become unassailable, it remains as meaningful and relevant a tribute to this uniquely demanding examination of surfing ability as there ever could be.

Photo-credits in order of appearence

Bells beach Line-up- http://www.flickr.com/photos/haildesign/3443443614/in/set-72157615916655814/

Mick Fanning cutback (note the sea full of white-horses behind) http://www.flickr.com/photos/twobigpaws/3450247276/

Ozzie Wright carve http://www.flickr.com/photos/nelsoneb/3443992428/

Comments

[Lewis]

I have never known anyone give himself such a hard time as you, Alex. Same as ever. Whaddaya want, a WCT wild card?! Relax and enjoy the surf man! get a longboard, ride bellyboard, keep going with the shortboard whatever. Just chill out! Surfing isn't Exmouth in the old days mate (I mean Sam's and the Strand - remember...)

Enjoyed Mark's piece, by the way. Who is he and where's from?

Lewis (from the Devon days)

[Gram]

Alex we all have shite days, weeks sometimes.
Down here we are getting surf so infrequently now I have to spend the first 20 minutes trying to remember how to surf.

It took me two or three years of frustration to remember that surfing is fun ( or supposed to be)I still have a short board and if i am honest I rarely use it now...

As Lewis says 'chill out,' even three waves in a session are three more than if you had stayed in the car park.

Make it easy on yourself go back to the Jonty board or buy a wide board (Magic Carpet style) Ignore what people say about them you are only ever on one rail at any time so it is academic how wide they are and when they go onto the flat they plane at a hell of a speed.You may find that rather than length you need lateral stability in the early part of your ride,,(ie stumbling upright!!)...Try one...

But what ever you do stay away from "Cowards Corner....!"

As an Aussie mate famously said....**** all this short board ****, it's all down to standing up time mate....

[Mark Tyers]

When I'm not working or socialising, I'm an East coast surfer (currently in the North East but use to surf in Norfolk) and amateur surf writer