Surf Nation

Don't forget - Doom Bar Big Wave Film Night this Saturday in Porthcurno

OK, Porthcurno is a long way from anywhere, but it's all relative. During my year in Australia I thought nothing of driving 200 miles for a night out. OK, it'd take me a week to get back, but distance is as much a matter of attitude as geography. And if you want to encounter a surfer with attitude, come along to the Doom Bar big wave night in Porthcurno this Saturday, for in attendance will be Dan 'Mole' Joel. Mole's exploits at Aileens also feature in a great giveaway DVD in the latest issue of Carve.

The truth that dares to speak its name

I'm just back from a great trip to Hossegor. Felt stoked after a good interview with Tom Curren and a couple of days of... bodyboarding. Yes, I rode a lid, by far the safest option given the crowds (one swimmer, surfer or body-boarder per metre). I have to say that blasting down the line and getting covered up - albeit lying down - is definitely something I'll be doing again back here in the UK, hopefully with Rob Barber (Rob, as we've been discussing...) when my local wedge kicks off again in the autumn.

Anyway, talking of being back here in the UK. A friend texted me with an irresistible message: "M8 do u read yr reviews on Amazon?" Before I could protest "No, of course I don't, like every seasoned writer I never bother with such things, I feel secure and confident in the knowledge that at least three people - my editor, agent and wife - like my writing and that's more than enough for me, thank you very much" I'd checked out a Mr D Yarrow's thoughts on Surf Nation, these in the form of an Amazon customer review.

Woe is me. Mr Yarrow, from Tynemouth, feels that the book is "pointless - it's just some guy wondering [sic] the UK, interviewing people who make a living from surfing." He says that "the writer [me!] doesn't even seem to be a particularly experienced surfer" and is not someone who has "committed his life to the pursuit of wave riding." He prefers someone "who know's [sic] their onions," and offers my mate Tom Anderson, author of Riding the Magic Carpet, as such a man.

Why am I telling you this? Is it so that someone (my editor, agent or wife - please, one of you!) will rush to Amazon to post a counter review to that of Mr Yarrow? Perish the thought! It'd only lead to a counter-counter review, and then a counter-counter-counter review (That's enough counter-counter et seq reviews. Ed.), and then a counter-counter-counter-counter review (Please stop. Ed.) No, I'm mentioning this in an educative spirit, to illustrate the truth that dare not speak its name. It's an awful, dark and horrible thing but nothing can be done about it. It is this: all writers read their reviews. We pretend we don't but it's a lie. We can't help ourselves. It's part of the same pathology that leads us to write in the first place. So if you ever meet a writer and you hear him or her saying "I never read my reviews", you know they're talking BS.

However, I'm also mentioning Mr Yarrow's musings by way of asking: who is entitled to write about surfing? Is my experience of surfing invalid because, despite 20 odd years of on-off paddling out at numerous breaks in various countries, getting nailed is still the most consistent trick in my extremely limited repertoire? (And imagine - with age, I'm getting worse.) But also: how exactly do we define a person who has committed his or her life to wave riding?

These issues came up recently on this blog in the debate over Andy Martin's comments on the UK scene. I agreed with many of those commenting: it struck me as incongruous that Andy was condemning the UK scene as a UK surf guru who doesn't surf in the UK. But I also agreed with a couple of comments to the effect that if the only people entitled to provide commentary on football matches were ex-professional footballers, we'd have a bunch of commentators whose articulacy might make the average punter as sick as a parrot.

Likewise, surfing. Andy writes, I write; Mr Yarrow writes, we all write. So do a lot of other people. Who knows their onions the best and chops them finest? Without crying? To be fair, I wasn't over the moon to learn of Mr Yarrow's thoughts but nor was I gutted. Each to their own, it's a game of two halves, it only takes a second to score a goal but a lot longer to wave three yellow cards, to be fair it's a shame one team had to lose and at the end the day he'll be disappointed with that but the lads done brilliant (What are all these football cliches doing here? Ed.), sorry, what I meant to say was this (again): all credit to the lad Yarrow, but when it comes to surfing, surely it doesn't matter how good, bad or indifferent you are. It's about being stoked. Isn't it?

Or, to be fair, did I play too much football when I should have been riding waves?

See Errant Surf for packages to the surf heaven of Hossegor. Second picture courtesy of www.worldprosurfers.com. Football cliches acquired, to be fair, over a lifetime.
 

Tom Curren - 'nuff said

Surfing or sex?

Some interesting threads on the Surfing Waves forum on the old chestnut: given the choice between your favourite break working perfectly or having sex, which would you choose? (Though curiously, this is a question that I have never actually heard anyone articulate. It seems only to exist in print or online. No doubt there is a reason for this.)

A meeting with the King of Cool

Today I find myself in Biarritz thanks to Rip Curl to interview Tom Curren for Huck. I was watching the Trials to Title DVD last night with my sons, ages 12 and 9, by way of a refresher on this extraordinary man. I'm ashamed to say that Harry, 12, suggested that TC wasn't that good, really, because he didn't do any aerials. Harry suggested that Kelly Slater was much better. This may well be true, but I shook my head in despair. The kids of today - well, mine anyway - have a lot to learn.

Surf Nation exhibition still on at Secret Spot St Ives

In commending a visit to The Secret Spot St Ives this weekend I lay myself open to a charge of shameless self-promotion (again - Ed) but actually this is't true (really? Ed). I'd urge a visit to check out the superb photographs that appear in Surf Nation before the show closes (to be replaced, I think, by work by Lucia Griggi). The Surf Nation exhibition runs for another week or so and the pictures from the book, blown up to gallery size, are excellent. Better still, St Ives is a wonderful place to wile away a few hours so if you're in the area, get yourself along.

Photo courtesy of Geoff Swallow, director of The Secret Spot. Yes, that's me in the blue T-shirt, and yes, I was very hot.

Aruba goes off

A while ago I wrote of how I'd been saved from poker hell in Aruba by local surfer Jeffrey Dijkhoff and his wife Shaendeeh, who took me for a surf at what was an admittedly totally blown out break. I was in Aruba to cover a poker tournament but casino life had taken its toll. To my great joy, Jeffrey and Shaendeeh showed me Aruba's surf spots and I've been wondering about a return trip ever since.

Thanks again to Alex Dick-Read of The Surfer's Path I learn of some awesome swell down Aruba way courtesy of Hurricane Dean. Check out this amazing barrelling left-hander. As Alex puts it, Arubissima!

No pain, no gain...

But this is a little too heavy...

Porthcurno to host Doom Bar Big Wave Film Night

Sometimes life down here in the wild west can be pretty quiet. I live in a village called Porthcurno, and while anyone who visits the place swiftly declares it to possess possibly the most beautiful beach in Britain, if not the world, there's no denying that it is, well, quiet. Not now, in the summer, when the place is packed (especially with German and Japanese tourists - see later for the reason), but between early November and mid-March there is just about no one here and my elder son, in particular, assails me with moans about this ("why can't we move to Sennen Cove, Dad?" is a question on his lips about thrice daily). Today, though, not only did I bump into sound Geordie lad and photographic contributor to Surf Nation Stu Norton (who had been taking advantage of Porthcurno's pristine waters for a photo-shoot with Roxy rider Candice O'Donnell) but I also learnt of a top event coming Porthcurno's way on Saturday 1st September. Turns out that my sleepy village is not only capable of attracting roving Geordie surf snappers but will also be hosting a Doom Bar Big Wave Film Night, one put together by the Porthcurno Telegraph Museum with help from Doom Bar and Surfers Against Sewage.

Claire Hearn, events co-ordinator at the Museum, summed up the rationale for the open-air screening of chilled-out surf flick Sprout:  “Sprout is a beautiful film with a superb soundtrack. It totally transports the viewer to the stunning locations where it is set – Morocco, Mexico, Costa Rica, South Africa and New Zealand. This will be a fantastic outdoor cinema experience, which the museum is very happy to be hosting. We hope that we can do more events of this kind in the future. As a telecommunications museum we tend to work with a different kind of wave, but we love the link!”

The evening will also feature a short documentary film about big-wave rider Dan “Mole” Joel, made by Cornish production company Shark Bay Films. I had the pleasure of meeting Mole in the course of the research for Surf Nation, and can confirm that not only is he an awesome big-wave surfer, he's also one of life's good guys (though he did buy Wrecking Machine at the Secret Spot launch do for Surf Nation and I haven't heard from him since; he might have decided I'm still a nutter. Not true, of course, though Wrecking Machine is, I also found out recently, the most popular book in at least one of Her Majesty's prisons).

Anyway, enough digression: Mole will be attending the event along with his Doom Bar jetski, which he uses with tow partner Sam Lamiroy to ride some of the biggest waves in Britain - and Ireland. Anyone who caught the Carve Aileens shoot of a while back will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Meanwhile Joe Keohane, director of Sharp’s Brewery, said: “Working with SAS is a natural partnership for us – we wholeheartedly back their ethos of working towards cleaner waters for everyone to enjoy. We wanted to organise a series of events for both residents and visitors to Cornwall, which would raise the both profile of this worthwhile organisation whilst bringing in vital funds.”

Siobhan Keyes, fundraiser for SAS, said: “We’re really excited about the film festival – it’s not often that audiences in Cornwall have the chance to see great surf movies on the big screen. Sharp’s is already one of our sponsors so it gives us a fantastic opportunity to work together on an exciting project.”

As a resident of Porthcurno, I'm stoked that this event is happening, and I'd say that you could do a lot, lot worse than come here for the day on Saturday 1st September, check out the superb beach and awesome cliff walks and then settle down with some Doom Bar to watch Sprout. If you make the effort you might be joined by some German tourists, who come here every year in a Rosamund Pilcher pilgrimage - I'm told that one of her stories was filmed here and became a hit on German TV. As for the Japanese, apparently they rate the train journey from London Paddington to Porthcurno as the best on the world. Even though they have to get the bus at Penzance for the last eight miles...

Tickets for the event are priced at £6.50 for adults and £5 for concessions, available from the Porthcurno Telegraph Museum Box Office on 01736 810966. £1 from each ticket will go to SAS, with further donations from sales of Doom Bar beer. Gates open at 6pm, screening commences at 8pm. Photo of Logan Rock, near Porthcurno, courtesy of First and Last Cottages. 

Surfing made easy

A friend of mine is into Cajun dancing. For some time, he has endeavoured to convince me of its merits. To no avail, for I am to dancing (of any kind) what my good friend Bloggish is to Hawaiian big-wave surfing. In short, I carry no cards of any kind.

My friend knows this, and alerted me to some instructional videos courtesy of www.videojug.com. I checked out how to pole dance, do the waltz, the Argentine tango and the quickstep, but sadly, despite the clear and easy to understand videos, my ineptitude on the dancefloor continues. I will have to live with this.

However, as I was casting around to see what else I could learn on VideoJug (there is even a "Love and Sex" area), I found a section devoted to surfing. Now all the rippers out there will sigh, but there was a time when you, too, were floundering in the ocean without a clue. Often enough I see people in the sea at entry level, those who love the idea of surfing and want to learn how, but they haven't the first idea how to lie on a board and paddle for, let alone catch, a wave (sometimes, with a hangover especially, I'm one of them). But here's a sample that shows how Videojug are making the ingenu's life easier. I think you'll agree that this is crystal clear, helpful stuff. Mind you, I wonder how the videos will sound when they come to convey the secret of getting barrelled...

VideoJug: How To Surf A Wave In One Day