News reaches me of a scandal that raises a smile. It is salacious, so please don't read on if you are easily offended.
A married Lothario d'un certain age had been enjoying intimate moments with a delectable woman some years his younger. Lothario's wife had her suspicions and, far from going to London one morning (as was supposedly her intention), she doubled back to the marital home, there to find the keys to the couple's boat missing. She speedily drove to the said boat's mooring, and, with the utmost stealth, boarded it. She crept alongside the cabin - stepping over Lothario's cherished 6'6" thruster - and peered inside. There she found Lothario and his lady friend at one with each other rather than the ocean.
Like any sensible person, she immediately took pictures of the cavorting lovers with her mobile phone. These will apparently now be used in divorce proceedings.
A friend of Lothario's heard this tale of oceanic intrigue and, herself being a woman of the world, suggested that the pictures be deleted, Lothario end his illicit relationship and the formerly happy couple try to repair their marriage. After all, she said, surely it wasn't as if the duo were engaged in some kind of deviant activity. Wasn't it just a bit of fun, couldn't it be forgiven?
A trusted source said that no, it was nothing particularly untoward. "What, then, is the problem?" said Lothario's friend, evincing notable, and perhaps commendable, liberalism.
"Put it this way," said the source. "She couldn't speak, and he couldn't hear anything."
A sight for sore eyes and, doubtless, a handy mobile phone. To illustrate yet further their uses here are some shots taken by Welsh writer Tom Anderson of swell generated by Hurricane Dean as it hit the east coast of America. Tom was recently in the States researching his second surfing book. Curiously, he used to supplement surf trips by working as a private investigator, but this fact is as relevant to the above tale as Lothario's thruster. It remains only to say that if you ever find yourself on a boat with consensual carnal intent for someone Who Is Not Your Partner, get your mobile phone out and book a hotel room. Quick.