Letting Go of Surfing?

This blog is back on England's green and pleasant land after an excellent Tour du Mont Blanc. My younger son, Elliot, and I thoroughly enjoyed trekking round Western Europe's highest mountain, though I confess that we did not walk every step of the 105 mile circuit. The problem with the TMB in late May/June is that it's pre-season, so there's still a lot of snow on the high passes. We encountered a blizzard on the first day, on the Col de la Seigne at 2,500 or so metres, and on one or two subsequent stages also found the way too perilous owing to waist deep snow on couloirs with run-offs, in the event of a slip, which led to certain death. Even allowing for a reasonably well-developed self-destructive streak in yours truly this doesn't extend to my offspring, so discretion was the better course of valour and, a couple of times, turning back to return to our starting point and hitch a lift round to the next one was the only option. 

We were well looked after by Mark Tennent of Simply Savoie, a very able mountain guide who'd serve anyone well if they were under his care. If a spot of long-distance high altitude walking might be your thing, and you don't want to go as far as Nepal, drop Mark a line.

Meanwhile, my life changes fairly radically tomorrow as I become Acting Editor of Cornwall Today magazine. This position is set to last about a year, as I cover for the current ed, Kirstie Newton, who's off on maternity leave. I'm looking forward to the challenge of editing so decent a title, the offer to do so coming at a perfect time: I'm still not fit enough to surf, and won't be for a while, so being in an office will not, as it might otherwise have done, come with a downside of missing waves.

Talking of surfing - for yes, this is a surf blog, despite the photographic evidence of the TMB to the contrary - I paddled out at Sennen a couple of days ago, almost as soon as I returned to the UK. The surf was clean and offshore, not too big and, at North Rocks, fairly uncrowded. Sadly, though, I did not fare well. I just can't get over the fear that my neck is not ready for surfing. I caught a couple of waves - the kind of waves that ordinarily I'd have loved - but bottled it on the take-off. That sudden sense of speed seemed too dangerous, too threatening, too risky. I came in after an hour and a half without once getting to my feet, with just an aching pair of arms to show for my efforts. Those miraculous waves at La Santa seemed a long way away.

I was waxing lyric-free about this to a friend this weekend. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: "I don't know, surfing now seems so scary. I know the neck op has gone well but I still get a lot of twinges and weird shaking in my left leg and hand. I paddle out, think 'what if it went wrong?', and feel too scared to get a wave."

Friend: "You've had a good innings. You've boxed, surfed, windsurfed, snowboarded, played football, climbed mountains, done triathlon and God knows what else, all into your forties. It was time, at your age, to slow down anyway, but what's the point of a 10-second rush if the consequence could be that you spend your life in a wheelchair?"

Me: "I know. That's what I've been asking myself."

Friend: "Seriously, Alex, you need to let go of surfing. Concentrate on your writing from now on. That's what everything is saying to you. The action man days are over. It's time to write."

Me: "As it happens, the one uspide to the health mayhem has been that I've written a lot of a novel that I first thought of six or seven years ago. I'm really pleased with it."

Friend: "There you go. There's your answer. Finish the novel. Don't surf. Swim instead."

Me: "Hmmm."

So here I am, back from the TMB, wondering whether it's time to let go of surfing. Certainly, at present it's no fun. I'm too scared when I'm in the water and feel that each time I've been out recently - a few times in Lanzarote, twice at Sennen - I've got away with it rather than been ready for it and relaxed in the ocean. I've done enough sport to know that injuries happen when you're tired or not on your game. I am decidedly not on my game, and an injury to a post-cervical discectomy neck is not one to acquire.

Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm not sure about that. But I have a feeling that the twin challenges of editing Cornwall Today and finishing my novel are here to keep me away from surfing. And though it pains me to say it, that's no bad thing. 

Comments

[Russ Pierre]

Alex,
0yself and Rich emerson at Surf Action have just taken a bunch of Royal Marine amputees surfing at Polzeath. They may never be pro surfers but the determination and perserverance was humbling. You may not be surfing soon, but if those brave lads taught me anything is that anything is possible and that includes surfing with a dodgy neck my friend. Maybe not now but don't give up because a friends says so.

[allie]

i whole heartedly agree with Russ on this one. Never say never and all that . Take your time, build your strength in your back and neck with something less radical like yoga or pilates . Then when everythings feeling strong, work on your cofidence. THeres no better feeling than that you get when your paddling out and you feel so strong in both body and mind, when i started to box i felt ( comparitively) realy fit and strong and those paddle outs were the best and most fulfilling I've had. Even after a 3 hr yoga marathon I've been totaly totaled but on that paddle out my mind and body have been so clear and full of my own inner strength that nothing can beat it. God i sound like a total hippy, but it's true. Take it slow, build up to it and , hard for you i know, do something NON COMPETATIVE just for the sake of building your strength up again, you need this to protect your back and neck, trust me. I'm a papier mache artist. Besides we've not been in the water together yet so i'm still waitin to cheer you on that wave...

[Jay]

Noooo Alex. I have been in the water once in two years due to shoulder surgery that went horribly wrong. Thinking (or in hindsight, hoping) I was fit to surf after the first shoulder op, I paddled out and got battered. I couldn't paddle properly due to the restricted movement in the shoulder and all in all it was a scary experience that I would rather not repeat.

I have now had the second op, but agree totally with what the guys have said above. If you are strong enough physically, you will be strong enough mentally. I will not paddle out again now until I'm 100% certain I will enjoy it and be fit enough to do so. It sounds to me that your neck is just not ready for it yet.

Ok, so you can write, hence the reason I continue to read your blog and have done so going on four years now. But if you don't surf, where does your inspiration come from?

Hoping you don't lose the stoke sir,

[Graham]

Time and patience will see you through Alex. Maybe the new job is some form of Karmatic ! lay-by that will allow you one and to develop the other (especially dealing with submitted prose and text)

Oh yes, welcome back.

Lovely to see that even up Mont Blanc the yoof of today are never far from their phones....

[Flowerpot]

Very difficult I would think. Can you put the surfing on hold for the moment and concentrate on your writing - which you will have to do anyway? And maybe come back to the surfing next year?

[Kara]

Well, I'm just glad you are feeling well enough to get out there and give surfing a go! Congrats! Now, the decision making on what to do from here on out is up to you. Just follow your gut -- it's usually right. It has more nerves than your brain ... :-) ~Kara

[MarianneCurphey]

Hi Alex, just come across your blog, loved the book. I've been out of the water for nearly three years out of the last six.Take it easy, your body will recover and your fitness will return if you give it time. I found it really hard watching perfect 6ft swell in Tenerife two years ago and being unable to get on a board, but patience paid off for me and it will do for you, I'm sure.

[Sand Sock Girl]

The waves would gonna miss you for sure. But i'm happy in a way coz you're always here updating your blog. I really enjoy reading your posts!

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