Astonishing news reaches me, not in my guise as Acting Editor of Cornwall Today, nor in any other of my freelance incarnations, but as a piece of scurrilous gossip, pure and simple.
I hear that over in a village that dare not speak its name, moves are afoot to introduce a curfew at night to stop children marauding the streets.
This has to be good thing. For too long now an unruly collective of five-year-olds on scooters, motorbikes and skateboards has menaced the gated retirement community (GRC) that is KP. They laugh and smile, joke and dance, take drugs and eat adults and why, for what possible good? It is high time they were stopped but rather than the imposition of a curfew - which some pedantic lawyer, somewhere, is bound to reveal as contrary to the law of the land - why don't the chief executives of the GRC build a vast skateboard pipe, lock the children in it and leave them there? Then again, as this footage shows, they might still have FUN.