In an unprecedented twist the mother of the shark accused of trying to eat Australian three-time World Champion surfer Mick Fanning has declared "Enough is enough."
Mrs J Shark, of J-Bay, South Africa, held a press release three minutes from yesterday in which she said: "My son was out for his usual swim when he found his favourite route blocked by a surfer sitting on a board, apparently waiting to 'ride a wave'. He politely asked the surfer to move by nibbling playfully at his ankle. The surfer then punched him on the back, just underneath his scary fin. It was a disgraceful and unprovoked attack."
Other members of the shark community agreed.
"If you borrow money at stupid rates of interest and fail to pay it back, you've no one but yourself to blame," said Mr Lone Shark. "Or as we sharks like to say, if you can't stand the heat you should get out of the water."
Joining the chorus of disapproval at Fanning's underwater punch were three wise men, four horsemen and Jeremy Clarkson. Said Clarkson: "I'd like to commend the shark for not eating Fanning when he received that punch. If only I'd shown the same kind of restraint. I'd still be presenting Top Gear and we'd be plotting a shark special."
Mrs J Shark's son insisted on maintaining a dignified silence, swimming off and refusing all overtures to speak to the media, sell his story and write an updated autobiography. It was left only for Mrs J Shark to say: "My son didn't do what came naturally. He wasn't himself. He thought for a mad moment that he was a dolphin. Please leave him alone and allow him the space and time he needs to return to normal."
